As I walked to my car a million thoughts were running through my mind. I was trying my best to put on a brave face, but deep down I was fighting back a flood of tears! Will this work? Will I be back? Am I being selfish? What about my family? I was absolutely scared out of my mind! I had just quit my corporate job to fulfill my dreams of being a full-time photographer and stay at home mom! Seriously…Terrified! Although this dream had been in my head for a long time I always thought it was far from my reach. At the time, I had been photographing weddings and families while working 40 hours a week for about 6 years. Throw in a new baby, our beautiful daughter Harper, and the thought of going back to the 8-5 job I already hated was not appealing whatsoever! Every weekend I was enjoying each minute of capturing my couple’s on their wedding day and then feeling completely overwhelmed when I was spending all my weeknights after working all day on my computer editing, building my business, and creating an experience with my clients. Plus trying to find more time to spend with family! And I was not doing it well! The year my husband and I made the decision for me to leave my full-time job and pursue building my business and dedicate more time I spent with Harper at home I was working closer to 50 hours a week, I had 18 weddings on my calendar, many incredible families to photograph, and a tiny two-year-old who wanted all of my attention. Making the decision to leave and begin nurturing my photography business as well as snuggling with my daughter more was the easy part. The hard part was the unknown. Can I sustain the business, balance the work/life dynamic, and maintain the love I have for capturing moments? It’s been over three years since I walked from a job I hated and got in my car not knowing what to do next. As soon as I pulled out of the parking lot I lost it! The tears poured out of my eyes uncontrollably! I couldn’t tell if they were tears of joy or utter fear! I think it was a combination of both honestly. While driving home I heard a familiar song on the radio. I turned it up and listened to the words more clearly than I had ever done before. It was Natasha Bedingfield’s “Unwritten”. A 2005 song I had enjoyed before, but never in my life had felt like it was being sung directly to me! This was a new beginning of my journey and I could make it anything I wanted it to be! I rolled down my window, felt the warm sun on my face, and belted out the lyrics! 

I am unwritten
Can’t read my mind
I’m undefined
I’m just beginning
The pen’s in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitionsFeel the rain on your skin No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries are outside the lines
We’ve been conditioned to not make mistakes
But I can’t live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin 

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else 
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten  

Warm Regards, 
Lauren